Wanted to be all, where I just get to be so many, somewhere where I didn’t have to explain why I was doing what I was doing.

 

Be somewhere where I didn’t have to apologize for existing the way I exist, simply. So I chose the Theater.

Where the possibilities are endless and that thin line between reality and fantasy became my home. 

During my years in CalArts, and being taught in an experimental setting, I have realized that I am an artist who’s honored to feel, simply. Little by little throughout, began to feel this irresistible responsibility to constantly challenge and allow space for us to lose and find ourselves over and over. Expose and be exposed to all of its colors through movement.

 

I truly believe for them to be performatively free a performer has to give permission, surrender, and allow both feminine and masculine energies to waltz within their being and with it, we will get closer to our humanity, autonomy, understand without justification, and empathize heavily. 

 

"Always felt and feel an undeniable urge to expose and redefine the feminine through in and throughout, unapologetically."

 

"Tender I need yours and mine to be."

 

The great Pina Bausch once said, “I loved to dance because I was afraid to speak when I moved, I could feel.”

 

I want to keep digging deeper into what makes us us when we are lost, what makes us us when we are found. I am not interested in the defining colors, but in the mysterious beauty of how and where they bleed into one another. The poetic melody of the unforgiving misunderstandings and unwieldy silences.  

by Caitlin Tan
photography  by caitlin tan

performer // director // movement artist